Well, the 111th Congress is now duly sworn into session, and, even though President-elect Obama doesn’t take the oath of office for another two weeks, it’s safe to say the Democrats are already in full circus mode. So, let me put my ringmaster’s outfit on, and…
Laadiieesss… aaannnd… gennntlemeeennn! Now presenting… the three-ring Democratic National Circus!
Focus your attention carefully to Ring One, where Speaker Nancy Pelosi is demonstrating her iron-fisted command of all creatures, great and small. First, she’s maneuvered all of her donkeys into the exact positions she wants them to hold. Regrettably, she had to sacrifice one of them, an old donkey named John Dingell, to get her way, but, hey, that’s life in this circus. In fact, she’s not even allowing elephants into the ring anymore, changing the fairness rules set forth by a former elephant trainer, Newt Gingrich, that allowed for donkeys to be in the ring while the elephants ran the show. Ladies and gentlemen, let’s have a big hand for San Fran Nan and her obedient donkeys!
And here in Ring Two we have the ever-popular clowns, led by head clown “Dirty” Harry Reid! Dirty Harry leads the 100… wait, 99… I mean, 98… 97 clowns into the ring. For those of you keeping score at home, that’s 41 clowns on the right side of the ring and 56 on the left. Well, there would be 57, but Dirty Harry has just refused to allow one of them to enter. Folks, you just can’t make this stuff up! And while the clowns are still here, remember that you still have a chance to join us as a clown! New York and Illinois residents only may apply (in Illinois, a small registration fee made payable to the Rod Blagojevich Legal Defense Fund will be required). Oh, and Minnesota, too, but Minnesota residents aren’t required to be funny to become clowns.
And, as the clowns depart, watch the center ring closely as we prepare for the arrival of everyone’s favorite daredevil, the hottest thing from Chicago since Mrs. O’Leary’s barn, the one, the only, Barack Obama! Yes, ladies and gentlemen, you’ve already seen him make his way through a two-year campaign cycle without touching a single issue. He’s dodged every serious question asked of him since November 4, finally acknowledging that President Bush is still the President. And now, he’ll be walking through fire as he tries to keep from getting burned by not only his own associations but also the associations of his Cabinet and staff appointees. The ghosts of Blagojevich, Emanuel, Richardson, and even Clinton will be looming over him. This promises to be exciting, folks, so stay glued to the edges of your seats!
Tags: Al Franken, Barack Obama, Bill Clinton, Bill Richardson, Democrats, Harry Reid, hillary clinton, John Dingell, Nancy Pelosi, Newt Gingrich, Rahm Emanuel, Rod Blagojevich, Roland Burris
